Let’s face it. As women, most of us have been socialized to fantasize about “getting hitched,” owning that white picket fence, and having 2.5 kids with the man of our dreams. True We played “house” with our dolls and made futuristic plans for our big wedding day, long before we ever met our Knight-in-shining armor to rescue us and assume the roll. However, this fantasy has become a nightmare for far too many who have failed to date savvy, and ultimately end up hurt, confused and on that relationship treadmill going nowhere…
Perhaps you’re one of them. If so, read on.
Would you like to date smarter, not harder? Have less trial and error in the mating process? Make more informed decisions regarding matters of the heart? Meet a man who might some day qualify to be your “baby daddy.”
This lesson will serve as a “cheat-sheet” to help you increase your odds for success in finding the right man, show you what to look for, and what to overlook in your search. Consider it a crash course. Test dummy---optional.
Disclaimer: I am not a therapist, member of the clergy, psychic, or certified relationship professional. However, I am a sage graduate of the “school-of-hard-knocks,” who has learned a few things through trial and error worth sharing. Use this information at your own risk.
Part One - Self-discovery
Examines the importance of doing a little soul-searching before searching for Mr. Right, while examining factors that could sabotage relationship success.
What’s your love style? What baggage are you still carrying into your relationships? Do you have any “deal breakers”? No journey to “happily-ever-after” status should be embarked upon without an awareness of who you are minus a mate. Do you have what it takes to sustain a long-term relationship and go the distance? Or have your cell phone contracts lasted longer than your relationships? What are your mating goals? Looking for something casual, or seeking to tie the knot? The clearer you are in terms of what you’re looking for, the better it is for you and a potential partner, and the less trial and error. Remember, “If you haven’t got a clue, you haven’t got a chance!”
Part Two - Choosing Wisely
Looks at the selection process and why it’s important to achieving your relationship goals, and how it ultimately affects the quality of your relationships.
A noted author once stated, “Americans spend more time choosing their cars, clothes, houses, colleges, and majors than they do selecting a mate.” Ouch! Painful, but perhaps true. Take the time necessary to choose wisely. Though there are no guarantees in life or love, be very clear here: character counts. Sure, bad boys can bring thrills, but they also bring drama, pain, and bitterness if you’re not careful. Compatibility is crucial as well. You don’t have to be identical in your beliefs or hobbies, but you should minimally share the same core values and have at least a few similar interests. Though “opposites attract” they don’t typically endure.
Part Three - Dating Myths
Discusses faulty love logic and lies you may have bought into.
Fiction causes friction. What myths are you buying into that may be sabotaging your relationship success, or causing unrealistic expectations? Take this following quiz to see:
Part Four - Increasing your Dating I.Q.
Discover how to date smarter, not harder.
There’s no doubt about it: dating can be fun and fulfilling, and add a great dynamic to our social lives. But it can also lead to danger, disillusionment, and emotional wear and tear, if not properly approached. Here are a few tips to consider to successfully date and mate:
Trust, but verify. Sometimes guys lie. Sometimes that white lie can be harmless, other times it may be concealing a criminal history, a wife, or even a disease. To assist in your sleuth work I highly recommend the book: “When in Doubt, Check him out” by a criminal investigator. Though written years ago, much of the material is still relevant today. See it here. Never loan or give money to casual acquaintances; you can’t buy love, ladies. Not to mention, you might have “buyer’s remorse” if you do. If you opt to date online, don’t divulge too much personal info in the beginning. Embarking on that first date? Always let others know where you’re going and with whom.
Don’t hold on to grudges and hurts of the past; it will cloud your judgment and your future. Check your relationship baggage at the door.